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Directed by: Jeffrey Nachmanoff | Written by: Jeffrey Nachmanoff
Official synopsis: As Ellen prepares to operate on the President, the First Lady confronts her and forces Ellen to tell the truth about the assassination plot.
Ha! Can I just say, “our friend on Pennsylvania Avenue” is not a very covert way to refer to the POTUS? So, “Endgame.” Pieces are in place… again. Ellen is going to operate on the rapist, President Kincaid… again. The family is being held hostage until the plan is successful… again. A team of patsies has been put into place as a distraction. These guys are all disposable, so we can assume they’ll all die. Meanwhile, Nina thinks it’s Duncan arranging for her and Soy Soy to be held until the surgery is over. More Hostages… how meta.
I’m not entirely clear why Col Blair is still doing this, now that Vanessa is going to be the VP nominee. Kramer and Duncan think Blair will kill Nina and Soy Soy after the job is done. I think the same about Archer and the remaining Sanders family. Back at the hospital, Ellen has hatched some dumbass plan to have the first-lady sneak the POTUS blood out for Nina and Duncan. Of course the FLOTUS gets wise to it, and Ellen is too dense to lie her way out. Oh, and the FLOTUS knows the POTUS has a mistress. Ew.
Cut to the Middle East Security Summit in Washington DC. Vanessa and Sandrine help Blair step right into a trap. Duncan demands his family back. Meanwhile, the POTUS surgery has gone awry-there’s a bleeder, some chemical weirdness, and then they shut the power off. The patsies bust in to do their thing, but they have no magical password so they get shot. Then… Ellen sticks a needle in the guy who’s supposed to be making sure Kincaid is dead. Oh NOES?!? Wait… did I say Oh Noes? Because I meant Zzzzzzzzz.
“Don’t you die on me!” said Ellen to the rapist President. Why saving this jackhole’s life is more important than her family-oh wait, she thinks they’re safe. They’re not though… or are they? Nina and Soy Soy actually are safe. Col Blair is even safe, Duncan’s plan to blast him is foiled by Nina’s phone call. The follow through on this show is abysmal. Nina makes Duncan promise that no one else can die. Lame! We’ve met over a dozen terrible people on this show in 15 episodes-and with the exception of the patsies, it really looks like they’re all going to live. WTF, seriously?
But wait… Col Blair gets sassy with a skillet and ends up taking two in the chest… bullets, I mean, not skillets. Ellen’s efforts to save Kincaid continue and she somehow manages to save him by herself with no power AND she gets the sample for Nina. All this just before a troop of feds swarm in to find the POTUS stable. Ellen is standing by trying to look like she’s not a giant liar in the midst of a conspiracy. No dice, BTW. The first lady is thrilled, more or less. Vanessa is totally bummed, not as bummed as Archer though. He takes Brian, Jake, and Morgan to an abandoned building where he prepares to shoot them… or does he? ** YAWN **
Easily the best fight choreography in the whole series is the throwdown between Duncan and Archer. Damn, nice fight. As expected, neither of the two people aiming guns at each other actually fires. Archer got shot and killed by Kramer. That sucks, since Archer was the least treacherous of the main kidnappers. Also, I can’t help but notice that only the black guys died. All the other evil kidnappers, plotters, and murderers lived and got on with their lives just fine. So in that way, it’s kind of like real life.
Nina and Ellen talk over a bag of the President’s blood. Apparently handing the bag over to a doctor will cure Nina of being about to die. I don’t think it works like that, but there’s no point in picking nits so late in this terrible season. Nina is conflicted over Duncan’s actions-but since almost nothing on this show has consequences, she gets over it in a few minutes. Soy Soy is still annoying and stupid-but she’s a happy annoying and stupid.
Sandrine and Kramer get together like love-struck teenagers-well, if love-struck teenagers already have kids. As a final zinger, the first-lady confronts Kincaid about the murders he orchestrated, Burt Delaney’s tales of misdeeds, and the rape of Nina’s mother. It seems like FLOTUS and Vanessa are actually gonna hands-on kill President Kincaid. So in reality, this whole series could have been a 20-minute YouTube video. Later, the Sanders clan gets back together at the Sander’s home (minus Ellen’s sister who was wrongfully committed to an asylum). And would you believe it-their dog is still alive! We leave the Sander’s home to see Duncan Carlisle as he turns himself in to the police. Aaaaand Scene!
Hostages is over. At long last. The main thing to keep in mind is that our favorite hostage-me, is now free from this banal and insipid nightmare. CBS, I will never EVER trust you again.